Friday, 24 March 2017

The Blackpool Poet, MR DARRYL ASHTON 2


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MR DARRYL ASHTON

 
 
Hello Everyone,
 
 
And a warm welcome to Mr Darryl Ashton. Last week I shared his 'visit' to Countdown with you and a couple of his Christmas poems. This week, before moving on to his poetry, I would like to share  one of his jokes which I think is a real cracker and insight into his mind and humour.
 
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"Here's the email/letter I wrote featuring Donald Trump. I sent it to the Lancashire Evening Post newspaper.


    May I just say; Many, many CONGRATULATIONS to Donald Trump - the inauguration to President of the U.S.A. is now complete. I was also seriously very impressed with his speech to the multitude. And, I thought how refreshing it was to actually listen to a President who didn't mince their words - and was so refreshingly UN-PC!!!! How I wish we had someone like this in our Parliament - someone who isn't afraid to "show some backbone" - and someone to stand up and support the electorate. I really do wish Donald Trump all the best - and I do hope he can deliver everything he said he would do if he won the presidency. Like building a great BIG wall?! Hopefully, now, new, and better times are ahead for all the millions of Americans and America itself. The best thing I like about Donald Trump - is he isn't "politically correct" - and I do applaud that. But, while I was watching the inauguration ceremony I couldn't help but think; 'When Donald Trump was making his speech - if a sniper had pointed a gun at Donald Trump - how would his security guards have warned him?" "Maybe: 'Donald, duck!'"

Quack! Quack!

                                                                 ***********************

His comments on his  book: My Amazing World of Poems and Political Satire                             
 
"This is Darryl's second book of poems - which includes a vast selection of his
own poems. From political satire, comedy, spiritual, gospel, romance and all
other kinds of poems. There's even a grand selection of comedy scripts
featuring Abbott and Costello, Fawlty Towers...The Return! There really is
something for everyone in this fascinating book of poems. It is a must-have
book for anyone who loves poetry."
                                  

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Amazing-World-Poems-Political-Satire/dp/153330260X/ref=sr_1_2?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1485877655&sr=8-2&keywords=darryl+ashton




Other links for info on  Darryl and his work:

https://www.liveblackpool.info/community/blackpool-and-me/darryl-ashton

http://www.realisticpoetry.com/poetry-blog/my-amazing-world-of-poems-and-political-satire-by-darryl-ashton

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Now, two of his works... Enjoy!





AND MOSES SAID TO THE LORD…”TEN WHAT?”

God: “What are you doing with the tablets of stone with my Ten Commandments? I thought I told you to take it down the mountain to read to the multitude”.

MOSES: “Yes, you did, God, but I need to talk to you about that”.

GOD: “What’s to talk about. It was a simple enough task”.

MOSES: “That’s what I thought, until, the Health and Safety spotted me trying to carry the tablets”.

GOD: “What have they got to do with it?”

MOSES: “Well, God, they reckoned that it was either going to do my back in, or I might drop it on my foot, or somebody else’s foot. Anyway, H & S weren’t having it. I had to fill in a risk assessment form first”.

GOD: “Anything else?”

MOSES: “As a matter of fact, there is. It was then that the PC Brigade got involved. Said the title was too abrupt. Didn’t leave any room for negotiation”

GOD: “That was the idea. They are my commands, that is why they are called commandments. The title stays”.

MOSES: “Right, God, but there was a couple of other things they weren’t happy about”.

GOD: “What else were they moaning about?”

MOSES: “Well they didn’t care for that bit about not worshipping any other Gods. Said it was discriminatory and might upset other religions”.

GOD: “Anything else?”

MOSES: “That bit about honouring thy mother and father. They reckon in single – parent families some of the kids don’t know who their father is. Sometimes the mother hasn’t got a clue!”

GOD: “Go on, let’s have it all”.

MOSES: “The people and the politicians are dead against the word ‘lie’- they say it is too judgmental. They prefer the phrase such as ‘putting a spin on it’ or ‘presenting it in a better light’ or ‘in the public interest’.

GOD: “They are still liars, though”.

MOSES: “Oh yes, God, they lie for a living”.

GOD: “Are there any of MY commandments these various meddlers are happy about?”

MOSES: “Well, God, they’re OK with ‘thou shalt not kill’. And the one about stealing, although the politicians rob the people blind, but as they call it taxing apparently, it’s all right”

Of course, the big stores don’t agree with keeping the Sabbath special.”

GOD: “I’ve got a good mind to send a plague of frogs to teach these sinners a lesson”.

MOSES: “No God, don’t do that – or we’ll have the animal rights crowd all over us like a rash!”

BY
DARRYL ASHTON
                                                       *************
THE CHANGING WEATHER


PIER CIRRUS ACCOM


Often, whenever
One mentions the
weather,
It might start a long
conversation.
Whether sunshine
or snowing,
Raining or gales
blowing,
The weather can
cause consternation.


The sun is too hot;
the rain is too wet,
The subject engrosses
our nation.
The weather forecasters
Become the masters
Of our moods of
despair or elation.


Is it sandals or wellies?
Just stay in, watch telly?
The weather is just
aggravation.
Is it raincoats and
brollies?
Or beach towels and
lollies?
It causes disorganisation!
Whatever he season,
Whatever the reason,
There's no point in
rationalisation.


No days are the same,
And there's no one to
blame,
For it's caused by
precipitation!
So now, let us ponder
This magical wonder
That causes us so much
vexation.


For it's Nature's story
In all her glory
That evolved at the
dawn of Creation.
We know sunshine 
and showers
Were vital for flowers,
Animals and all vegetation.


As Nature unfurled
Our incredible world,
She gave life to
myriad variations.
So, next time you plan
On getting a tan,
Remember this wise
information.


It may snow, it may
rain,
It may hold up your
train,
So journey without
expectation!
So, chin up, prepare,
Just guess what to
wear,
And move forward
with anticipation!


BY
DARRYL ASHTON



Until next week... have fun as always... Love Lady M and Darryl xxxxx














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