The SIX word novel

I like this pic of me!





Hello Everyone,

I hope you've enjoyed the last two weeks of wise words and witticisms from writers. Yes, we all know Lady M loves alliteration! In fact, she loves playing with words in general and creating fantastic sentences. Her favourite at the moment is The sunshine of happiness that shone through the night has changed into a melancholy morning. So beautiful and prosaic. One of her favourite authors is Hemingway and this week she is sharing her post from January 2017 and giving you a challenge!

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For those of you who are interested in writing or ideas about writing I am sharing something started by Ernest Hemingway with you this week: THE SIX WORD NOVEL

He once bet that he could write a novel in only six words. The novel? "For sale: baby shoes, never worn." He won the bet.

I challenge you to write your own six word novels and share them with us in the comments below. No prizes; this is not a competition, it is just for fun! To start you off I will share some of mine.

1. Eager driver jumped lights. Funeral Thursday.

2. Hungry mouse smells cheese in trap.

3. New hobby: texting while driving. CRASH!

4. Racing against time. Time won. Farewell.

5. Stopped. Looked. Did not see it.

6. Panic. Disaster. Chain reaction. Disaster. Panic.

7. Had a drink. Then another... And?

8. Switch on. Beautiful illuminations. Power cut.


Have fun!

Lady M

 

Writers

At my sixth book launch LOVE YOU FOREVER

Hello Everyone,

After last week's blog on why we write I thought I would find out what people say about authors or writers.  How can you define an individual who works in a profession of solitude and where there are no rules? Again, I have done a little research and found the following comments.

Michael Joseph wrote, "Authors are easy to get on with - if you are fond of children." Well, I was a teacher prior to becoming an author.

Brendan Francis, "What an author likes to write most is his signature on the back of a cheque." YES or another PayPal payment, please.

Samuel Johnson, "The promises of authors are like the vows of lovers."  Interesting!

Benjamin Disraeli, "An author who speaks about his own books is almost as bad as a mother who talks about her own children." Oh dear!

Alexander Pope, "Authors are judged by strange capricious rules. The great ones are thought mad, the small ones fools." Well, I have been known to question my sanity.

Ralph Richardson on being asked to appear in a programme in support of imprisoned writers replied, "No, on the whole I think all writers should be in prison." Solitude wouldn't be a problem would it?

John Osborne, "I like writers like a snake likes live rabbits." I'm thinking 'Watership Down'.

William IV, "I know no person so perfectly disagreeable and even dangerous as an author." Hmmm, as a general rule people do not upset me.

Quentin Crisp, "There are three reasons for becoming a writer. The first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; and the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings." Clearly written before numerous television channels and Wi-Fi... yes, 1968.

Peter de Vries, "I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork." Written pre-computer days in 1977.

John Mortimer, "What obsesses a writer starting out on a lifetime's work is the panic-stricken search for a voice of his own." I am still looking for mine.

Are you thinking of becoming a writer?

Until next week... have fun and treasure each moment.

Lady M



Why do people write?

My six books

Hello Everyone,

Yes, Lady M here. Back at last. I would like to say that it is by popular demand but...

Anyway, a big thank you to Sofia and Donald for keeping you entertained during the last four months. I hope you enjoyed catching up with the family in their new Australian life. Now, S and D are probably enjoying themselves in all their favourite places.

I am resurrecting some posts from two years ago when I took on the theme of writing. One of the topics I did not look at was plagiarism. It is with great sadness that the Darryl Ashton's poetry  featured in this series has now been removed from all my blogs due to plagiarism. Alas, under these circumstances I have been obliged to sever my professional relationship with this individual. Plagiarism is a criminal offence, also unethical and immoral. It is simply taking someone else's work and claiming it to be yours. Darryl, allegedly, took at least one poem and just changed the title. I believe he is being prosecuted. It is so sad as he is talented  in his own right.

So, this is my first resurrected post originally posted in February 2017.

I have decided to take 'writing' as my theme for the next few weeks. After all, it is rather appropriate for someone who is on her ninth book. Twenty years ago I was not even sure that I was capable of producing one. Positivity and perseverance have been my allies and between us we have published seven. I really like the pic I have chosen today because  it has my first six books all in line and to me they are the most beautiful books in the world... yes folks... it is personal. All authors see their books as children. They can recall the point of conception or basic idea, the pregnancy or development of plot and characters, the long period of growth or writing and the final product for the world to read. If you are wondering about my seventh and eighth books... seven is on Kindle and number eight is looking for a publisher. So, how many words have I written over the last twenty years? Considering rewrites and editing I estimate between eight and ten million. Wow! A question I am frequently asked as I am sure many authors are is why do we write? My answer? I have no idea... it just feels right. I have done some research for this blog and found various quotes on writing which may interest you.

Kingsley Amis wrote, "If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing." I like his thinking!

Samuel Johnson wrote, "No man but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money." I wonder what he would say to the free downloads of today?

William Faulkner wrote, "The tools I need for my work are paper, tobacco, food and a little whiskey."  I prefer chocolate, caffeine and wine!

Sir Winston Churchill wrote, "Writing a book is an adventure: it begins as an amusement, then it becomes a mistress, then a master, and finally a tyrant." An obsession?

Clarence Darrow wrote, "Some day I hope to write a book where the royalties will pay for the copies I give away." I sympathise.

Jules Renard wrote, "Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money." Now I feel normal.

W. Somerset Maugham (attrib)  "There are three rules for writing the novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are." I like a profession or life style without rules.

John Steinbeck wrote, "The profession of book-writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business." I must take up horse racing.

Ferenc Molnar when asked how he became a writer replied, "In the same way that a woman becomes a prostitute. First I did it to please myself, then I did it to please my friends, and finally I did it for money." Interesting.

J.P. Donleavy wrote, "Writing is turning one's worst moments into money." Where am I going wrong?

Lord Byron wrote, "If I don’t write to empty my mind, I go mad,” I like it.

Truman Capote said, To me, the greatest pleasure of writing is not what it’s about, but the inner music that words make,” Definitely!

Terry Pratchett, “Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself.” I agree. I just love playing with my characters... they are such fun. Escapism from reality is a fantastic experience.

F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote, You don’t write because you want to say something; you write because you’ve got something to say,”  Absolutely.

So readers just a few reasons why people write.

Until next week have fun,

Lady M







Just a thought 2!

Howde Folks,

This is our last week with you. Next week Lady M returns with her series on writing. So, we are bidding you farewell with more thoughts! Enjoy.

1. If the past was 'the good old days', isn't today tomorrow's 'good old days'? So enjoy it and make happy memories.

2. Remember, the glass is half full, not half empty. 🍷🍸🍹

3. If you have faith can you move mountains?

4. If you really believe in dreams do they come true?

5. Do sheep count humans when they can't sleep?

6. Does karma take the scenic route?

7. If speed kills and we should kill our speed, why are they making cars go so fast?

8. Has anyone ever seen a clown cry?

9. Has anyone actually seen the silver lining in a black cloud?

10.Why do you wait for hours for a bus and then three come at once? 🚌🚌🚌 One reply was that they secretly travel in herds and packs!

11.If you can't take it with you, why are peeps obsessed with making a fortune? 💰💰💰💰 Two good replies were to have relatives fighting over it after you've gone and to watch the fun from above!

12.Is there really a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? One reply was, No, the leprechauns got it!

13.Why do we make the same mistakes over and over again?

14.When the chicken crossed the road did it look both ways first and make it to the other side?

15.It is inadvisable to have the window cleaner call if they are twice as dirty on the inside.

16.Will tomorrow always come? One reply was... never becomes it changes to today!

On that note we wish you a fond farewell until the next time Lady M invites us back.

Love, Sofia and Donald xxx

Just a thought 1!

Howde Folks,

Well, we are half way through January. Hope you are all okay and coming to terms with 2019. We are still down in Australia and keeping an eye on our family. Their Christmas and New Year celebrations were brill. Miranda gave a massive party on New Year's Eve. She insisted on Derek going because she needed a 'doctor in the house'. Derekisms were in abundance over the gross waste of money. Oh Derek. Miranda is excited about a new venture for 2019. She has been following Lady M and is now diversifying and adding ice cream supplies to her company. That brought a smile to C.U's visage.

"Get on with it, Sofia."

"Okay, Donald. You're keeping me on track, as usual. I just love digressing."

 Anyway, I have been into her FB account again and observed that throughout last year she posted many posts on Just a thought. I have taken some of them and will be sharing them with you this week and next before we leave you. Some are philosophical and some amusing. We hope they will cheer you up.

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1. Do people really watch paint dry? 

2. Do sheep follow like humans? One witty reply was, "No, they're smarter!"🐑🐑🐑

3. Does the last man standing ever sit down?👨

4. If the modern technological age is so wonderful, why does everything stop when the computers are down?💻💾💽📀

5. Does eating crusts really make your hair curl?

6. If all roads lead to Rome is there a traffic jam in the city centre?🚖🚕🚔🚓🚙🚛🚚

7. How many hands make light work? Lady M replied that she thought it was a switch! Typical!

8. What would happen if everyone went on strike at the same time? Lady M replied that she thought they had!

9. Are good things really worth waiting for? The majority of replies were positive on this one.

10.If manners maketh man...what maketh woman? One witty reply... brains!

11.What happens when hope fails? One witty reply was Brexit. A more serious one was faith.

12.If the road to hell is paved with good intentions, did someone move the paving stones?

13.Two things you can't buy are time and memories. Enjoy every moment.

14.Apparently Lady M has learned the secret of saving money. Don't spend it!😊😀

15.Has anyone tried to make hay in the rain?

16.Did the person who invented wishing wells get their wish granted?

Well folks, hope some of these have put a smile on your face.

Love Sofia and Donald xxxxx

Outrage!

   

      Howde Folks,

Yes Donald and I are still with you and you can read all about us in our trilogy. I've posted the covers of them for you because I like looking at them. We know that many of you find January a depressing month after all the hype of Christmas and it is our intention to try and cheer you up but before we do  we want to draw your attention to something which happened to Lady M last month. She encountered an objectionable person near her mansion and the message which comes through is one we wish to share with you.... ALWAYS BE SENSIBLE!     

We have taken this from her FB page and Nextdoor.co.uk.

Outrage on Cooper Street

On Saturday, 8^th December, I attempted to get my car from Treddles Lane onto the main road. I am driving along Cooper Street as a car is coming up Park Street and wanting to turn left so I continue along Cooper Street and turn right into the final small section of that road. There is a parked vehicle at the top on the right, one half way down on the left facing me with the engine running ready to move. Another car is parked at the bottom end on the right. So, I proceed, overtake the middle car, move back to the left and try to pass the parked car at the bottom of the road. By now, there is another car behind me and the one I’d overtaken has been able to leave the street. Unfortunately, the bottom car was too near the middle of the road for me to pass. I gesticulated expecting person to move over so that we could both move and the one behind me as well. Person sat in car like a statue. I try again. Person still like a statue. Weird!

Then, person gets out of car comes over to me and shouts, “You just had to push through, didn’t you.” WHAT! How was the car in the middle going to get out if I didn’t move down? Fly over me and the other parked vehicle? Was person serious? I am a little stunned. Next, person locks car and says, “I’m going home. I only live there.” I’m thinking, shall I do the same? I could walk round the corner and leave my car. Now. I watch Judge Rinder and that word he uses frequently comes to mind… STUPID! Anyway, why would I want to be as childish as person?

I get out and talk with lady in the car behind me. She asked why person didn’t just move over; she wanted to call the police. Then person would probably have got either a caution or £60 ticket for blocking the road. I explained that I lived round the corner and this type of situation was a regular occurrence. It would take time for them to arrive and by then our roads would probably be at gridlock. I suggested it would be easier if she reversed and went down Park Street. She was silent, probably thinking why should she. I pointed out that I was totally blocked in and couldn’t go anywhere. She, being sensible, took the reversing option and I followed her. When person saw me moving person came out of house, probably thinking how clever they had been. But has a person who cannot see the whole road situation even got a driving licence? There’s a thought!

The law in the UK states that we wear seatbelts while driving and I am law abiding citizen. So, after reversing I stop conveniently by person’s off-road parking area. Now, I’m a senior citizen and can be a little slow. Seatbelts have to be fitted correctly. Person has now pulled up behind me so I look in mirror, wave and smile. I don’t think person was very pleased because person got out of car and proceeded toward mine presumably thinking of giving me another bol….ing! Oh dear, I drove off before person got opportunity, waving and smiling. How to deal with stupidity!

Btw, I’m the one who has emailed the council requesting yellow lines in our streets before a child is injured or killed when leaving the local school.

To all our regular uninvited parking guests, be warned…lunacy prevails in the small area of Cooper Street which runs parallel with Park Street. We all know in these streets that there is a parking problem and we work with each other but there is always the exception.

Why am I posting this? Our local streets and the UK streets in general have become car parks in recent years. The situation I encountered is not unique. Why didn’t I point out the road situation to person? You can’t reason with idiots. Confrontation leads to road rage, violence, racism and even death. Always be sensible.

Okay folks. After our message wishing you happiness last week we now hope you will always be sensible. For the rest of this month we will be sharing some of Lady M's thoughts posted on FB in the hope of bringing smiles to your faces through the drab, dreary month. In February and March she will be back and sharing her writing posts with you.

Be happy and sensible.

All our love Sofia and Donald 😊😊

                                                                                     

Happy New Year!

Howde Folks,

Yes, it's 2019 with you now. We know Lady M finds it hard to believe and cannot get over the fact that she is pushing 70 and her next birthday will be one nearer to that next month. We hope you all had a most enjoyable New Year's Eve and are looking forward to this year with optimism and hope. If I may just remind you of my phrase, Look forward with hope; look back with gratitude.

Lady M usually gives you something positive for the year with her greeting like make it a year of firsts or make every moment count. Once, she even gave you a blank page to fill with good things.

                                    We just wish you happiness throughout the year.


All our love, Sofia, Donald and Lady M

Sofia and Donald on the third day of Christmas

                                                     

Howde Folks,

Yes, we are still down under with Miranda and the family. Her treat for Christmas day was an afternoon helicopter ride with champagne on board. On Boxing day she took them to Sydney in a private jet, the usual way she travels, to see The Illusionists, the spectacular magicians at the Opera House. Even Derek went and they are all still talking about it.

It is now the third day of Christmas with nine more to go to Epiphany on 6th January.This has led me to think about the traditional 'twelve days of Christmas', the gifts and what Miranda has in store for the rest of them. I remembered that Lady M took this gift thing seriously a few years ago and created a 21st Century list which I have found for you. Would you thank anyone for sending you 'a partridge in a pear tree' today? Would you really appreciate milking maids or leaping lords? So, if your true love were to send gifts on each of the Christmas days what would he choose in the 21st century?

Lady M thinks it would be something like this:-

On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me A Nintendo DS

On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me 2 Laptops and a Nintendo DS

On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me 3 Digital cameras, 2 Laptops and a Nintendo DS

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love sent to me 4 Plasma TV's, 3 Digital cameras, 2 Laptops and a Nintendo DS

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me 5 Gold rings, 4 Plasma TV's, 3 Digital cameras, 2 Laptops and a Nintendo DS
(Yes! This one stays the same, who would not want five gold rings or any other jewellery! So...)

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love sent to me 6 Diamond pendants, 5 Gold rings, 4 Plasma TV's, 3 Digital cameras, 2 Laptops and a Nintendo DS.

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me 7 Mobile phones, 6 Diamond pendants, 5 Gold rings, 4 Plasma TV's, 3 Digital cameras, 2 Laptops and a Nintendo DS

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love sent to me 8 Bottles of French perfume, 7 Mobile phones, 6 Diamond pendants, 5 Gold rings, 4 Plasma TV's 3 Digital cameras, 2 Laptops and a Nintendo DS

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love sent to me 9 Boxes of Belgium chocolates, 8 Bottles of French perfume, 7 Mobile phones, 6 Diamond pendants, 5 Gold rings, 4 Plasma TV's, 3 Digital cameras, 2 Laptops and a Nintendo DS

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love sent to me 10 Designer handbags, 9 Boxes of Belgium chocolates, 8 Bottles of French perfume, 7 Mobile phones, 6 Diamond pendants, 5 Gold rings, 4 Plasma TV's, 3 Digital cameras, 2 Laptops and a Nintendo DS

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me 11 DVD's, 10 Designer handbags, 9 Boxes of Belgium chocolates, 8 Bottles of French perfume, 7 Mobile phones, 6 Diamond pendants, 5 Gold rings, 4 Plasma TV's, 3 Digital cameras, 2 Laptops and a Nintendo DS

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me 12 Red roses, 11 DVD's, 10 Designer handbags, 9 Boxes of Belgium chocolates, 8 Bottles of French perfume, 7 Mobile phones, 6 Diamond pendants, 5 Gold rings, 4 Plasma TV's, 3 Digital cameras, 2 Laptops and a Nintendo DS.
.

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Love to you all, and hoping you had a great Christmas day, Sofia and Donald ❤❤❤❤