Friday, 24 March 2017

The Blackpool Poet, MR DARRYL ASHTON 2

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Hello Everyone,
And a warm welcome to Mr Darryl Ashton. Last week I shared his 'visit' to Countdown with you and a couple of his Christmas poems. This week, before moving on to his poetry, I would like to share  one of his jokes which I think is a real cracker and insight into his mind and humour.
"Here's the email/letter I wrote featuring Donald Trump. I sent it to the Lancashire Evening Post newspaper.

    May I just say; Many, many CONGRATULATIONS to Donald Trump - the inauguration to President of the U.S.A. is now complete. I was also seriously very impressed with his speech to the multitude. And, I thought how refreshing it was to actually listen to a President who didn't mince their words - and was so refreshingly UN-PC!!!! How I wish we had someone like this in our Parliament - someone who isn't afraid to "show some backbone" - and someone to stand up and support the electorate. I really do wish Donald Trump all the best - and I do hope he can deliver everything he said he would do if he won the presidency. Like building a great BIG wall?! Hopefully, now, new, and better times are ahead for all the millions of Americans and America itself. The best thing I like about Donald Trump - is he isn't "politically correct" - and I do applaud that. But, while I was watching the inauguration ceremony I couldn't help but think; 'When Donald Trump was making his speech - if a sniper had pointed a gun at Donald Trump - how would his security guards have warned him?" "Maybe: 'Donald, duck!'"

Quack! Quack!


His comments on his  book: My Amazing World of Poems and Political Satire                             
"This is Darryl's second book of poems - which includes a vast selection of his
own poems. From political satire, comedy, spiritual, gospel, romance and all
other kinds of poems. There's even a grand selection of comedy scripts
featuring Abbott and Costello, Fawlty Towers...The Return! There really is
something for everyone in this fascinating book of poems. It is a must-have
book for anyone who loves poetry."

Other links for info on  Darryl and his work:

Now, two of his works... Enjoy!


God: “What are you doing with the tablets of stone with my Ten Commandments? I thought I told you to take it down the mountain to read to the multitude”.

MOSES: “Yes, you did, God, but I need to talk to you about that”.

GOD: “What’s to talk about. It was a simple enough task”.

MOSES: “That’s what I thought, until, the Health and Safety spotted me trying to carry the tablets”.

GOD: “What have they got to do with it?”

MOSES: “Well, God, they reckoned that it was either going to do my back in, or I might drop it on my foot, or somebody else’s foot. Anyway, H & S weren’t having it. I had to fill in a risk assessment form first”.

GOD: “Anything else?”

MOSES: “As a matter of fact, there is. It was then that the PC Brigade got involved. Said the title was too abrupt. Didn’t leave any room for negotiation”

GOD: “That was the idea. They are my commands, that is why they are called commandments. The title stays”.

MOSES: “Right, God, but there was a couple of other things they weren’t happy about”.

GOD: “What else were they moaning about?”

MOSES: “Well they didn’t care for that bit about not worshipping any other Gods. Said it was discriminatory and might upset other religions”.

GOD: “Anything else?”

MOSES: “That bit about honouring thy mother and father. They reckon in single – parent families some of the kids don’t know who their father is. Sometimes the mother hasn’t got a clue!”

GOD: “Go on, let’s have it all”.

MOSES: “The people and the politicians are dead against the word ‘lie’- they say it is too judgmental. They prefer the phrase such as ‘putting a spin on it’ or ‘presenting it in a better light’ or ‘in the public interest’.

GOD: “They are still liars, though”.

MOSES: “Oh yes, God, they lie for a living”.

GOD: “Are there any of MY commandments these various meddlers are happy about?”

MOSES: “Well, God, they’re OK with ‘thou shalt not kill’. And the one about stealing, although the politicians rob the people blind, but as they call it taxing apparently, it’s all right”

Of course, the big stores don’t agree with keeping the Sabbath special.”

GOD: “I’ve got a good mind to send a plague of frogs to teach these sinners a lesson”.

MOSES: “No God, don’t do that – or we’ll have the animal rights crowd all over us like a rash!”



Often, whenever
One mentions the
It might start a long
Whether sunshine
or snowing,
Raining or gales
The weather can
cause consternation.

The sun is too hot;
the rain is too wet,
The subject engrosses
our nation.
The weather forecasters
Become the masters
Of our moods of
despair or elation.

Is it sandals or wellies?
Just stay in, watch telly?
The weather is just
Is it raincoats and
Or beach towels and
It causes disorganisation!
Whatever he season,
Whatever the reason,
There's no point in

No days are the same,
And there's no one to
For it's caused by
So now, let us ponder
This magical wonder
That causes us so much

For it's Nature's story
In all her glory
That evolved at the
dawn of Creation.
We know sunshine 
and showers
Were vital for flowers,
Animals and all vegetation.

As Nature unfurled
Our incredible world,
She gave life to
myriad variations.
So, next time you plan
On getting a tan,
Remember this wise

It may snow, it may
It may hold up your
So journey without
So, chin up, prepare,
Just guess what to
And move forward
with anticipation!


Until next week... have fun as always... Love Lady M and Darryl xxxxx

Friday, 17 March 2017

The Blackpool Poet, MR DARRYL ASHTON 1

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      Mr Darryl Ashton's autobiography:      
 Darryl Ashton is now medically retired, but he was a silver service Restaurant
Manager where his skills took him to land a job on the QE2. He is single, and
has no children - well, none that he knows about! He is a very keen writer,
mainly of poetry, covering all kinds of topics; including, humour and more
serious writings too. He thrives on political satire, and is equipped with a
fantastic, and very wicked sense of humour matched with an incredible

 Darryl also does stand-up comedy poem performances and is involved with
various charity work. At one time, he raised an incredible £50,000 just by
reading his own poems. His poems have also won several major competitions
and he is also a leading reader of poems at various poetry groups on the Fylde
Coast, Blackpool, Cleveleys and Lytham, all in the sunny and very friendly
borough of Lancashire. Darryl is originally from Great Harwood, a little town on
the border with Accrington and Blackburn. He is a keen teller of jokes, and
writing just about anything that takes his  interest. Darryl says he's a late
starter - he has been writing his poetry for only five years! And he's only just
got to grips with his computer.

 One really surprising thing that happened to Darryl was receiving an invitation
from Her Majesty the Queen, to go to Buckingham Palace to actually meet the
Queen where she complimented him on his poems and his fundraising efforts.
Darryl also won first prize in a world-wide Elvis Presley poem competition which
was organised by Graceland - Darry was invited to Graceland where he
performed his prize-winning poems featuring Elvis Presley. Darryl is also due to
appear on Britain's Got Talent this year as a stand up comedian and a comedy
One of his crowning glory moments was having his poetry read on Countdown. Yes, we would all like to be smart enough to be a contestant on Countdown but if you cannot be there in person what better than having one of your poems read by Jeff Stelling? So, click on to the link and be amused with BODY TALK...REMOTELY.
Amused? On a different note I would like to share two of his other poems with you:

Image courtesy of Wiki Commons

We’re getting near to Christmas,
There’s lots of things to do.
There’s cards to write and gifts
to pack
To friends both old and new.

We’ll think about the good old
When Father Christmas came
And left a shiny penny,
And a tangerine and a game.

We’d have a lovely dinner,
Turkey, Yorkshire, spuds and
And a home-made Christmas
With mince pies, without a

And nuts and dates, oh, what
a treat,
And paper chains were hung,
Then someone played piano,
And carols would be sung.

Let’s think about the Christ
As he in the manger lay,
And remember that without
There would be no Christmas



Reindeer Midnight - Santa Pictures
Funny Reindeer Pictures

Christmas is coming
Everyone’s getting stressed,
The Infant Christmas Production
Is putting us to the test.

We’re on the way to Bethlehem,
The children are finally dressed,
The costumes have seen betters
days –
It’s a pity they weren’t pressed!

Joseph is teasing the donkey
Who is terribly, terribly slow
And has now stopped altogether
Because he doesn’t want to go.

We’ve got too many angels,
The stars are thick on the ground,
Yet when we ask them all to sing
It’s hard to hear a sound.

The Kings forgot the presents,
The camels haven’t appeared,
Mary is looking tearful
Just as we all had feared.

Instead of ‘Sorry, there is no
The innkeeper opens the door,
He tells them they can go inside
And sit down on the floor.

The villagers are fighting,
The shepherds kick the sheep,
Some of the narrators
Are sounding half asleep.

The doll was in the manger
Now Mary takes it out,
She’s gone from tearful to
And she’s waving it about.

Then comes the Grand Finale,
There’s a puddle on the floor,
It’s time to call a finish
Or there’ll be a whole lot more.

So things are just as always
Becoming extremely fraught –
But the parents will think it’s
That’s such a comforting thought!

The Panto was a success, that
we do now know,
All those girls and boys – they
really did all glow.
Merry Christmas to all the
children, as they all do play,
But don’t forget to go to bed
early – as Santa arrives on his

A drunken Santa has made it
And beat the traffic queue!
He now flies home to Lapland,
With a sherry in his hand!
He shouts; “Merry Christmas,
folks, and gives a cheeky wink”,
He flies away, oh so fast – he
daren’t even blink! 


More of Darryl's poetry in the next two weeks but you may find more about him on Facebook:

So, until next week... be happy... Yours, Lady M xxx

Friday, 10 March 2017


The Shakespeare Room at the Birmingham Library
 Hello Everybody,
After thinking about writing, flash fiction and dialogue I want to continue with this theme and move on to poetry. My pic at the top was taken on a visit to the Birmingham Library where there is a room dedicated to the playwright, William Shakespeare. However, he also wrote The Sonnets, a collection of 154 sonnets or poems, which covers themes such as the passage of time, love, beauty and mortality. The first 126 sonnets are addressed to a young man; the last 28 to a woman.
What is poetry?
It is defined in as
    "the quality, production, expression, or realm, according to aesthetic principles, of what is beautiful, appealing, or of more than ordinary significance."
Or in the Free Dictionary,
 "1. A verbal composition designed to convey experiences, ideas, or emotions in a vivid and imaginative way, characterized by the use of language chosen for its sound and suggestive power and by the use of literary techniques such as meter, metaphor, and rhyme.
2. A composition in verse rather than in prose.
3. A literary composition written with an intensity or beauty of language more characteristic of poetry than of prose."
Generally speaking when we think of poetry we think of language written in some form of verse rather than prose. I consider it a clever way of using words to express emotion or inform of situations. I am thinking particularly of war poetry written by Wilfred Owen and Siegfried Sassoon. I studied Wilfred Owen's poetry as part of my 'A' Level course and learned far more about the First World War from his poetry than I did from either films or books. (There was no Internet in my youth!). I still remember his graphic descriptions and a phrase associated with his work of 'the pity is in the poetry'.  Poets, like writers of prose or even artists, tend to have their own way of writing and expression. Moving briefly into the art world, think of artists like L S Lowry renowned for painting matchstick men and images of Salford; or remembering my visit to the Wolverhampton Art Gallery in January,  Roy Lichtenstein, who by specific use of colour, black outlines and dots created  his own distinctive style. 

I have occasionally dabbled in poetry and would like to share with you a humble effort which I put on Facebook on the day I received my concessionary bus pass.

I can no longer escape it.
The proof came in the post this morning.
I have tried to ignore it.
I hoped it would go away.
At last it is here.
I never really expected it.
I'm still wondering how it happened.
I have to admit it
It's painful.
I still can't believe it.
Has it really happened?
How come I didn't notice?
It sort of crept up on me.
I can't deny it.
I really am a...
My bus pass is living proof.
Now, I'm able to ride on the Centro into Birmingham city and visit the new library, all for free.
I'd better be quick before the new, expensive library closes due to lack of finance!

Okay, I guess I had better stick to prose! But at least I can never be accused of not trying!

For the remainder of this month I would like to introduce you to my March poet and good friend, DARRYL ASHTON. As a first sample of his distinctive poetic style I am proud to bring you one of two tribute poems he has written especially for me. The other one is in my book, WRITE IT! PUBLISH IT! MARKET IT!


   I know a lovely lady,
    an author of fine vigour,
She enjoys the Karma
Sutra - and she has
a curvy figure.
A writer of fine words -
and an author so 
When she writes her
saucy books - every-
thing does rhyme.

Her name is Lady
Marilyn, and she is a
total delight,
Every spare minute
she has - she grasps
her quill to write!
Her soul is so inviting - 
and her brain is very
She also writes a 
fabulous blog - she
really is a temptress.

Then one day Lady
Marilyn met a pen-
friend - Darryl Ashton
is his name,
At first they were so
flirtatious - maybe 
playing the game!
Lady Marilyn was a
charmer - and she
used to silently 
'In the ears of Darryl
Ashton - and known
as Baron Jumpmaster!!!!'

Lady Marilyn became 
an Emmanuel - and 
she flirted with her
And she also used to
scream at Darryl: 
'Do it bloody faster!'
One fabulous lady
author - and a poetic
comedy poet,
Living the Karma Sutra -
'wouldn't you just know

Pease follow the eloquent
Lady Marilyn - a woman
with artistic writing,
And if you get to meet
her - Lady Marilyn will
be so inviting.
I, myself, now salute,
this lovely lady' so nice,
My Lords, Ladies and
Gentlemen may I proudly
present; 'Lady Marilyn L Rice.

Have a great week. Next week more from Darryl.


 The Lady Marilyn  L  Rice