The advancing years of life

                                                              

The famous '70' pic!

Hello Everyone,

It is Tuesday February 22nd, and as usual I am preparing a blog for Friday. I have scrolled down the archives and found this piece which I wrote three years ago. Since then I have turned 70 and experienced, like many others, a milestone birthday in lockdown. Last week, or five minutes after this pic was taken, I experienced my 71st birthday during Storm Dudley. I am still wondering how I got here but know that in another five minutes I will be either pushing up daisies with my sister or celebrating 80 but still wondering how I got there! That is life. Our days are numbered. They drift by, we know not how. One day reality dawns. We are running out of days. The past looks far better through rose-coloured glasses and the future is . . . 

 How many of you can identify with this predicament?

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Lady M still here. She wakes up each morning and checks if she's still alive. Her next thought is how did she get to her late sixties without noticing. Then she ponders over the fact that the big 70 is approaching and hopefully she will get a new lease of energy and life. She will no doubt do what she did at 60; namely knock off the nought! At 70 she will declare herself 7 and vow to behave like a 7 year old.

She usually goes into her library and finds the remote control, presses the ON button and half expects to see solemnity because we have a new monarch. No! How does our Queen manage so much at the age of 93? Then she moves over to her computer and presses another switch to engage herself in modern technology which she does not really understand. It was all so simple in the 1960's. The television had two channels and if you wanted to watch the alternative station someone would have to move to the set and manually switch over to 'the other side'. No recording, catch up, or +1. If you missed the programme you missed it but life continued. Then, there's this computer thing which she is seated at now. The entire world is at her finger tips on this thing called the world wide web. When did that happen and what happens when the web goes down? Chaos and disaster. It was all so simple when everything was done by using pencil or pen and paper. Information? Use the library. 

Everything seems to have speeded up as she has slowed down in her senior years. A modern essential appears to be a mobile/cell phone which is permanently attached to individuals either in the hand for texting or by the ear for conversation. She recalls the excitement of a luxury item appearing in her home... a fridge! A telephone was not even an essential item in her youth. They were items with dials and wires and only usually found in businesses. She remembers seeing her first phones. One was in the little red booth by the Post Office in the village and the two others were at her grandfather's and uncle's places of work. They were black and rarities. 

She still has a Wonder atlas from the fifties which has the new air age on it's cover. Travel by air used to be so exciting. Just visiting an airport was a delight watching the few planes landing and taking over for exotic foreign shores. One dressed up to travel and enjoyed the experience. Now one dresses down and endures it.

There are so many things in the twenty first century which puzzle her or do not seem right. The times have changed but she does have a favourite phrase regarding progress... progress is backward! Alas, away with negativity and let us look at the good things which have evolved from progress. Last weekend was Gay Pride weekend. There's a new term which baffled her LGBTQ's so she looked it up on line (she's learning!) Definition: lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (or questioning). Really? If you fell into one of those categories in her youth you suffered in silence so it is good that our society recognises that individuals should be free to lead a life that suits them without prejudice. She remembers a couple of gentlemen who lived together in the sixties but insisted they were not homosexual. If they had come out of the closet they faced a jail sentence. Although, she finds it strange when a man refers to his husband and a woman refers to her wife. 

Then there have been all these sex scandals which started with Jimmy Savile. He was clearly a sex offender but it was all swept under the carpet. The case seemed to open floodgates for scores of others to come forward and claim they had been sexually assaulted by celebrities in their youth. Now, rape is rape or non-consensual sex and that is definitely a crime and even more serious if with a minor. However, what concerns Lady M is what are all these so called sexual assaults that women are complaining about? Personally, she thinks a lot of it was probably groping or what was known as 'whs' wandering hands syndrome. Some men were well known for having this and it was common practice to grope or place their hands on various parts of a fully clothed female in a social situation or the work place. It was so rife that if you weren't groped you wondered why. It was not against the law then so how can you be prosecuted for it fifty years later? This puzzles her. Are such women just women with grudges or attention seekers? Are the authorities able to sift out the genuine cases? If so, what happened with Sir Cliff?

Last week she watched The Lionesses playing football for England. Women playing football? Traditionally, a man's sport. She didn't even know they had female teams never mind a world cup for it. Females used to play hockey, lacrosse and netball; males played rugby, football and cricket and all was well in her little world. She loves her Songs of Praise on a Sunday but cannot get over the fact that we now have female clergy and even bishops. She made an appointment at her local GP's with a nurse in the practice and was surprised to be seen by a man. She knows it's over 40 years since we had the sex equality act or whatever it was called and it is normal practice but somehow her brain cannot get used to it. 

She frequently remembers her grandmother who was born during the reign of Queen Victoria and even in her last years still acted as if it were the Victorian era. She expressed her horror at the music, the mini-skirts, the permissive era of the sixties and the general changing times. Lady M would say, "Gran, it's the swinging sixties. Everything's groovy and fab." She did not really understand and strongly disapproved of the modern era. 

Oh dear, she thinks she's turned into her grandmother! 

Love to you all, Lady M xxx

                              

Sofia returns!

                                                     







Howde Peeps,

Sofia here with Donald. We have not been around for awhile but we have been following her blogs and thought you must be getting tired of lockdown every week. So, we are taking over and giving you a little more entertainment throughout the rest of the summer.

If you are wondering who we are you may read all about us in Lady M's books which she calls the "Sofia" trilogy. You can see how pretty they look in the pics above. There's more info about us on her website, by scrolling through her blogs, or on the Internet, particularly on a site they call Amazon.

To begin our little adventure with you we have found an amusing short story she wrote based on her and many others experiences.

Enjoy!

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ROOM NUMBER

Some years ago, I went on my jollies to Malta and when I checked into the hotel, they gave me room 636. I said, “If it were 666, I would be the devil’s daughter.” This caused much laughter. For a few days at all mealtimes I would smile and say, “666, The devil’s daughter, 636.” Suddenly, I was feeling devilish. Many would say, true to character!

When asked for the room number I just said, “666.”

This was at a time when pen and pads had been ousted and fantastic new technology had been brought in. I watched the harassed waiter put the numbers in this silly little machine. He looked puzzled. Now, dear readers, that waiter had known me for years and had heard me describe myself as the devil’s daughter many times. I was sure he would realise. He tried again, “Er, it’s not coming up. What number?”

When I’m devilish…I’m devilish! 

“666.”

He tried four or five times before I laughed and said, “It’s 636.” Then he realised and laughed.

“I never expected you to put it in.”

“When we had to write the room numbers it was easy to remember them. Now, we just put the number in we’re given without thinking about it. It’s like being in auto-pilot mode.”
I guess that was the beginning of the farewell to the banter between waiters and guests. That was when they first became too busy or preoccupied to consider friendliness and chatter.

Moving forward. Different time. Different place. Technology has advanced. Hostesses and restaurant staff all have iPads which require a room number before revealing individual identity and numerous other details which staff must read as opposed to conversing or even looking at the guest. Guests have become robots. Forget personal, friendly service, care or any interest in guest. Forget remembering little details like room numbers, wine preference or anything relating to regular guests which made them feel welcome, special and at home. Just concentrate on the iPad and think of salary. Technology has replaced humanity. In the good old days when hostesses had a list on paper, or what is now known as hard copy, they would look up, see a person and smile. Then greet person with vocabulary before finding name on list, note and place tick. Next, be happy to escort person to a table while chatting pleasantly. Such wonderful memories of bygone days. Now…

There at the restaurant door stands stone-faced Morticia. Guests approach and join the queue for dinner with some trepidation while wondering whether they’re in a luxury hotel or the supermarket check-out.

At last it’s their turn to face the ordeal with Morticia whose glazed eyes just vaguely note another robot in front of her. “Room Number!” She demands. No one is getting passed her without this information. Once she has this information, she is oblivious to any attempt at verbal communication from robots who are asking to sit in their favourite place in the inner sanctum and enjoy an evening meal. They have been salivating for the last fifteen minutes while patiently queuing and wondering why they have paid a fortune for this torture when it’s free at the local supermarket. Eventually, after digesting all the info on her silly little iPad she shouts, “Follow me.” Then proceeds to place them at a table of her choosing, not theirs. They protest but she acts more like a prison officer than a hostess and they are left sighing as they are seated at a table in the corner and in the dark. She has left them, rushed back to her station ready to face the next robots.

This set me thinking… after all I am a writer. What would happen if the Queen, Prince Philip and their entourage were to find themselves in this situation? I think it would be something like this…

“Room number!” Morticia bawls.

“Room number. What is a room number?” The Queen asks.

“Room number.” Morticia repeats and quickly glares at her before looking back at her precious iPad.

The Queen turns to Philip, “Philip what is a room number?”

“Damned if I know. Isn’t a room something that common people stay in?”

“Just a single room? People stay in just a single room. Really?”

A frustrated and annoyed Morticia shouts even louder, “Room number!”

“I think so. Wouldn’t know.”

“Oh,” She looks at Morticia, “One does not have a room.”

“Oh, you’re non-resident. How are you paying?”

“Paying? One doesn’t pay. One is Queen. One does not carry currency.”

Morticia is getting really annoyed with these stupid robots. “You’re not resident and you’re refusing to pay. Next. Room number.”

The Queen is thoroughly confused. “One is resident but One does not have a room.”

Philip interrupts, “We have a suite.”

Morticia replies, “Ah you have a suite, room number!”

The Queen and Philip look at each other in despair. Do suites have numbers? At this stage, a bodyguard speaks, “Ma’am, the suites have numbers just like the rooms.”

“Really? What is it?”

“Ma’am, the number is on the door and on your check-in info with your key card.”

“What is a key card?”

“Ma’am, it is the card which opens your door and then operates the lights.”

“Oh, that little thing. I left it in the little slot where someone placed it.”

“Room number!”

Robots behind are now forming a long queue and are sighing and looking at their watches and mobile phones.

One of the Queen’s entourage rushes back to her suite and looks at the number. He returns and shouts at Morticia, “432.”

Morticia taps the number into her precious iPad. She tried three times. Nothing was coming up on the screen. Morticia’s brain has frozen until a frazzled robot in the queue shouts, “There’s no such room or suite. There are only three floors. No room has the first digit 4.”

Morticia screams, “Room number!”

The bodyguard was flustered. “Was it 342?”

Morticia’s aching fingers try 342. “Miss Smith? You’re not Miss Smith. No room. Refusing to pay. No food. Next. Room number.”

The bodyguard tried again, “324?”

Morticia taps in 324 and spends ages digesting the information before saying, “Mr and Mrs Windsor?” without even looking up.

The Queen is still puzzled as she is thinking about people staying in a room and magic key cards. “One is Queen.”

Philip looks a little stunned. He had never heard anyone address them as Mr and Mrs Windsor.

“We are the Mountbatten-Windsors but my wife is Queen.”

“Ah, Mountbatten-Windsors, room number!”

“One is Queen.”

“Room number.” Morticia blasts forth.

Philip adds, “We own a castle at Windsor. Dammed awful fire in 1992.”

“1992, Annus horribilis.”

“Grandchildren married there in 2018. Good times.”

“Oh yes, One remembers.”

“Room number.”

“One is Queen.”

“No Queen. Mr and Mrs Windsor or Mountbatten-Windsor? Room number!”

Philip looks around, “Damn this stupidity. Lizzie let’s go and get fish and chips.”

They and their entourage leave.

The next robots move forward.

“Room number!”

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We hope you enjoyed that. Have the best week you can and stay safe. All our love, Sofia and Donald xxxx

Sofia's Choice 5...Just Smile

A relaxing place

Just chillaxing

                                                                     Howde Folks,

For our fifth choice we have selected a post from May of this year where Lady M clearly outlines the numerous problems in today's society but concludes with wonderful advice and that is the   message we want to give you... Just smile. Remember, folks, one day you'll be where we are. In a place of love and happiness but wondering why you wasted so much of that thing called 'time' being miserable while you were on the earth. Smile and be happy!

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I recently declared myself the founder member of the TOPO club (Tired, old and pi**ed off). Then I added an ‘L’ (lazy) making it the TOPOL club. The next milestone in my life is 70. I am in the twilight years of my life or, as many refer to these years, the ‘waiting for God’ years. If I am honest I would not like to be a youngster in today’s world.

I look around me and listen to the news, usually in despair, although today there is some sunshine of happiness as the Duke and Duchess of Sussex show the world their new born son; seventh in line to the throne and the Queen’s eighth great-grandchild.

What do I normally see and hear? I recall the 1960’s when my generation wanted to change the world and make it a better place. Alas, it is far worse than it used to be. Where did it all go wrong? Brexit is a disaster, I never thought I would be embarrassed to be British, but that day has arrived. Knife crime is rife. It is no longer safe to walk on our streets. Homelessness is on the increase as rents and property prices soar. Youngsters, if they are lucky enough, stay at home because they cannot afford to move out. I left home at the age of 18 to go to college paid for by a grant from the Government which did not have to be repaid. Today’s youth frequently reject that option because they do not want a student debt around their neck for the rest of their life.

Industries, once the last bastions of society, are failing through rising costs and lacking sales. Who remembers Woolworths? That famous High Street store? It closed its doors over a decade ago and was followed by many others… BHS, MFI, Toys ‘R’ Us, Brantano, Poundworld, Habitat, Comet, HMV, Staples/Office Outlet, Debenhams In fact, an online check indicates that over 470 store names have failed in the last 12 years. The problem? They usually say it’s due to Internet marketplaces. Technology now rules our lives but does not protect our livelihood which leads to insecurity and daily fear of job losses for individuals. In turn, this leads to stress and high anxiety over how to pay the bills.

Recently, two jets have fallen out of the sky due to a malfunction with the software. Apparently, the captains were unable to override the computers on board the new jets. So, are computers now controlling us? Originally, man/woman or in this ‘PC’ age maybe I should say ‘human’ controlled the computers on board and were able to fly manually in the event of computer failure. On these two occasions that was not possible.

Have you ever been at the bank, garage, store, library or in fact anywhere when the computers are down? What happens? Nothing apart from chaos because everything ceases. We are brought to a halt by inanimate objects.

Am I the only person left who does not walk around with a phone attached to my ear? It seems that in this new technological age people are unable to do anything without a mobile/cell phone. Apparently, many are losing sleep because they are afraid of missing an important text. Yes, I know I’m using a computer now. I also am on social media sites and I have iPads, but could I live without them? Yes. On holiday, I frequently do. I only log on occasionally to flick through emails and give updates on FB for those of my readers who wish to share my holiday experience.

Last week I wrote about us being in a third world war. This week I am looking at another problem in our society. In the fifties there was excitement over the new jet age as people began flying around the world. Since, those days everything has speeded up and materialism has become an essential part of life. Everyone seems to want the latest expensive gadget yesterday regardless of whether they are in the financial position to afford it. Money is the commodity by which our society functions. For most, it is acquired by work.

Alas, when work is under threat and redundancies or closures are an every day fear; anxiety, panic and depression creep in. Survival is a problem; despair takes over. Mental health is now a serious issue although unheard of in my youth. Each dawn just brings another headache and something to be endured.

Is there a solution? I’ve no idea but a smile will ease the pain, make you feel better and more able to face the dreary day ahead. Think of each day as a holiday. Give yourself a mantra, “I’m happy”, “I’m lucky”, “I feel great… or whatever.

Wear a smile not a frown. Smiles are infectious. Take it on yourself to smile and make the world a better place.

Just smile! 😅😆😇😉😊😍😎

I've added a few pretty pics to help you.

Lady M

Nostalgic November 4 - The age of technology.

                                                                                                 
Howde Folks,,

For our final November nostalgia we are looking at the time when Lady M purchased a new Freeview television set and cried tears over the death of her beautiful 1989 tv/combi set.(First posted 17/04/2015) The age of technology is the present but the future? Well, we could tell you but that would be cheating. You just have to wait and see! Btw did you know that she still has a beautiful 1980's television set in a wooden surround in her library? She really will cry when that one finally gives up the ghost. Right now, it works on one of those digital conversion things. So enjoy!
                                   
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This week, I am tackling modern technology. My beautiful 1989 tv/combi with a video recorder, (not even a DVD recorder), yes, it was really old, has finally given up the ghost. It has been collected by scrap metal merchants this morning. In its place, I have a new flat screen, 24" Toshiba model, with built-in Freeview, DVD, Wi-Fi and... Well, I'm still exploring.

While, I'm exploring, I'm thinking back to 1958, and my excitement, because we were having a television. I remember that square, heavy, object with a screen, two main knobs, and smaller ones for things like, vertical/horizontal hold, arriving and being placed in the corner of the lounge. There was a lot of commotion as aerials, (for ITV and BBC), were placed on the chimney, and the whole thing was set up. Yes, only two channels; not 132 which is what I now have. That addition to the furniture remained switched off, until 5:00 pm, each day. Then, it came to life. Programmes! Excitement, even though, it was only in black and white. I was often tempted to turn on that knob (on/off) during the day. What would I have seen? A test card!

Those televisions were, also, good for exercise, because the remote control had not been invented. The phrase "switch/turn it over to the other side" became every day vocabulary. Someone needed to, physically, get up from their chair, and WALK to the set; then, manually switch it onto the other station. There were arguments over which side to watch. Repeats and recording were unknown. You watched it at the set time, or missed it. Forget Catch Up, ITV Player, etcetera. Who can remember tuning it to "Emergency Ward 10"? And the dishy Dr. Kildare?

Long gone and lost days. Days which killed the art of conversation. Days when the idea of starting life on Mars, or one-way tickets to Mars, were more fictitious than "Round the World in Eighty Days". Having a conversation with someone, who you can actually see, on the other side of the world? Definitely, fiction. It was almost sixty years ago. Now, fiction has turned into reality.

I have a Router enabling me to have Wi-Fi on this computer, my iPad and the new television. I have a mobile phone where I can text, albeit slowly, and send a message in seconds to anywhere around the globe. The Internet and www. with emails means that communication, and business transactions, can be completed in seconds. Writing cheques is something which has become a mystery to the younger generation, and soon will probably be as extinct as dodos. 21st century technology has made things easier, quicker and certainly less taxing.

My questions, and concern are, What next? and where will it all end?

Please, feel free to comment if you share my memories or have concerns/ideas about our future.


Love to you all, Donald and Sofia xxxxx