Our last tango

 

Us in 1960

And now in 2022

Hello Everyone,

I had an incredible experience earlier this month…school reunion. It was amazing. I’d like to think it was because I instigated it and was the main organiser. No, I could not have done it alone. It was such a worthwhile event that I have written about it for others to possibly share the experience.

We moved to the beautiful village of Ashford-in-the-Water in March 1960. In those days there was easy access across Sheepwash and Hyde Bridges, both now closed to traffic. The village was a self-sufficient and supportive community. It was those golden days when everyone knew everyone else and people were happy to leave the house without locking the door. There were two pubs, three shops and a Post Office, a red phone box (still present but redundant), a fishmonger, a photographer, coal merchant, a tea-room, a recreation ground with swings, a cricket ground for the traditional Sunday afternoon match, a Police House with our own village bobby, a Hall, Memorial Institute, Methodist Church, Holy Trinity Church with a vicar who resided at the Vicarage and the C of E  primary school. Neither a holiday cottage nor second home insight.

Today’s moments are tomorrow’s memories. The photo of the school group in 1960 was taken by the late Mr McCrindle with a sophisticated camera for the era. He positioned us symmetrically and captured a moment of our idyllic salad days. If only we had realised then just how idyllic they were when the world was a different place. It was a moment we wanted to recapture 62 years later. There were 61 pupils and 3 staff. How did we do it? The arrival of social media, the fact that several had stayed locally was helpful and we had further assistance from The Peak Advertiser who kindly published an article about the event. We located 53 of our group and the youngest teacher, Miss Brocklehurst. Sadly, 7 had already passed away and 4 more left this mortal coil while we were making the arrangements. Only 8 could not be located, 5 were from the local children’s home and 3 seemed to have vanished.

We began planning and organising 18 months ago. It would have been in 2021 but like so many other events it was delayed due to Covid. Where did we start? Facebook! The place where one of the group had posted the photograph We set up a page and added people to it as we located them. Some were siblings or cousins. Find one and others follow. The initial problem was where to hold the event. The obvious place was the school so that the photo could be taken in the same place. Alas, those long gone days of primary education in the village when the local vicar would come in at 3.30 pm to end the day with a prayer are long gone. The school closed in 1988. This is where the sad reality dawned. The village has changed beyond belief. Most of what we knew or took for granted in 1960 had disappeared including one pub, two shops, photographer, police sergeant, fishmonger, coal merchant,  and the Methodist Church. Consequently, it was the third location choice, or to be more precise, the only option now available - The Memorial Institute. The whole event was planned round recapturing the photograph. Who would take the pic or several? Modern technology means that several would be clicking on phones and tablets throughout the event but one person’s husband agreed to taking the official ones. When? After much thought about the village’s geographical location and tourist situation neither winter nor summer would be good options. We were left with midweek in May or September. 

What type of event? We hoped for fine weather enabling the photo to be taken outside, so daytime as opposed to an evening function. We pondered over various possibilities. Finally decided on a three hour reunion from 12.00 noon until 3.00 pm. As the majority of people would be travelling a welcome refreshing drink would be offered between 12.00 and 12.30 prior to the photo shoot and then food and socialising. For those still in the village or living in the area the commuting was easy. In one or two cases it was a walk down the road. Others further afield planned either a day trip or a holiday period to spend a few days catching up with relatives. Six of our group were living abroad. Two returned mainly for the event. 

We widened the net and invited some who were at Ashford School in the fifties and knew or remembered many of the 61. As the time drew closer and we were in communication with each other, the excitement grew. Some of us had private meet-ups beforehand. I discovered that one other individual had been living about 20 miles away, and at one stage had been working round the corner from my home. Had we passed each other in the street? We met at a supermarket cafe for a good long chat, concluded that it was a small world and were both comforted by the thought that at least we would recognise someone on the big day. That was a question for most. Would we recognise those people who had been such a vital part of our lives all those years ago? Name tags had been suggested and were optional.

The day arrived. Wednesday, May 18th. Good fortune was on our side, it was a beautiful sunny day not a rain cloud in sight. The photo would be on the lawn in front of the Institute, an outside event. In the spirit of the event it was essential to use catering facilities from the village community. We thank ‘The Bull’s Head’ for doing the buffet for us, they provided a feast fit for royalty. I was salivating when all the dishes arrived. Also, It was imperative to remember those who were unable to be with us. Their names were on cards on a Memorial table with photographs, candles and flowers. In addition we had a copy of the school closure service, various photographs from school days on display and information regarding the event available by the door. 

Our Ashfordian buddies began arriving after 11.30 and congregated outside in the sunshine. It was magical as they easily recognised buddies they had not seen in decades. Hugs, smiles, laughter as conversational catch-ups began with those they never thought they would see again. Eventually, they ambled inside for drinks to welcoming relaxing music from the era. Many looking round the Institute trying to remember when they were last there. For me it was 1971. We also realised that at the same time in 1960, just after noon, we would have been walking through those doors for a school dinner. The conversations continued until it was time for the main event. The moment of recapture. Outside. We congregated as far as possible in the same positions as before. Clicking time and finally a thumbs up from our photographer indicating he was happy with the selection he had taken. Conversation continued as we ambled back inside for the buffet. Very different from school dinners. Each collected a plateful from the sumptuous feast and seated themselves round tables with old friends or family members they had not seen for some time. Phone numbers, email addresses swapped. Why had they drifted apart? It is what life does to all of us. When school days are over we drift through our lives moving to where work takes us. Family and new friends come along, old friends fade out. In our youth we looked forward. In our senior years we look back with both gratitude for what we had and hope for the future. Most spent some time looking at the Memorial table with their own memories of those who were unable to join us. Finally, it was time to leave. Was it all over? No, well not for all. Many walked down the road to the pub. It was a case of let the party continue because we have learnt that life is short. Most of us were born during the reign of King George V1. Our Queen is celebrating a 70 year reign and so we were reminded of our age and thankful to be together for one last tango. 

I have written this article because those of us in our later years have seen incredible and unimaginable changes in the world. Social media was unheard in the 1960’s. Not invented. Being social meant going to a party, disco or the pub. Many will have school photos in a box in the attic. Maybe, you have already found one, looked at it and cannot remember half the people or are wondering what happened to so and so who was your best buddy. Why did you not stay in touch? I would encourage you to post the photo on the Net and have your own reunion. Reconnect and enjoy the last tango.

Yours Lady M  xxxxxx

THE CHALLENGE!

Lady M loves champers!

 Hello Everyone,

Lady M here. I, like all I you, watch the news and feel over emotional, afraid, disbelief, sadness and despair. As I wrote last week, I just cannot believe what is happening in the Ukraine 🇺🇦 and my heart goes out to its people who are ‘lost’. Today, I shed tears as I saw a teenager being interviewed in Poland. Her father had spent 24 hours driving her to the border and safety. He was forced to return and fight for his country. They had said goodbye and she does not know if she will ever see him again. What if this were you? Could you bear it? First Covid restrictions and deaths, now this. Sadness permeates the world. We need happiness and positivity in order to survive.

With that thought in mind I am offering you THE CHALLENGE again.

                                                       ***********************

So what makes you smile? What makes you happy? What do you enjoy? What makes you get up in the morning? What makes your life worthwhile?

Here are Lady M's favourite things that make her smile and decide that life is worthwhile and then she will challenge you. Think about Maria in “The Sound of Music”, when she is sad she thinks of her favourite things and then feels happier.

Tram riding, watching peeps and the world go by and book signing

First, beautiful books. She has the Charles Dickens collected works; the green leather bound edition bought in the early seventies. They were the first items she purchased when she started teaching, She paid for them over a period of time at £2 a month. She has not read all of them yet but they sit on the shelves in her lounge and she adores just looking at them. Then, there are all her other books amassed over the years in her upstairs library. They make her smile each morning. She loves all of her books especially the ones she writes. The proof copies all sit on the shelf by her fireside chair where she can admire them and smile at the achievement. There are peeps who say that books are a waste of money. She says, Philistines!


Then, there are childhood memories. It seems the older she gets the more she remembers them. She was brought up on a hundred acre country estate. Life in such a situation is hectic; always too much to do... livestock, gardens, the country house, land. All always needing attention and it was a case of all hands on deck 24/7. It's only in recent years that she realises how fortunate she was to have that experience and the memories.  Walking in the private woods. Rearing the pheasants (her responsibility!) Later she would hear the shooting and know they had met their fate; that was the way it was. Sitting by the boathouse reading books, (her favourite place.) Her lovely Jack Russell Terrier, Sally. Lambs taking their first bleat. Birthday parties and fun. The annual week's holiday at the seaside. Village life. Brownies. Guides. Sunday afternoon cricket matches. Chorister. Church bells on a Sunday morning. The smell of freshly mowed grass. The hum of the combine harvester.

Watching her father wash sheep here

Plants! In his latter years her father would bring her plants each time he visited. She now spends hours each spring, repotting and taking cuttings to keep his legacy alive. She still has one of the original plants from 1986 which refuses to die. It has been repotted three times, grows, is cut down and then regrows. Such fond memories of a devoted and perfect father. A man she idolised.

Other things which make her smile in her retiring years are the thoughts of ice cream, chocolate, pizza, chips, paninis, wine and more wine! Lattes, sunny days, warmth, jewellery, new clothes, bubble baths, candles, music, flowers, reading, board games, birds chirping in the trees heralding each new dawn, butterflies

What does she enjoy doing? Visiting the cinema, libraries, taking afternoon tea, tram riding, art galleries and museums. She has a thirst for knowledge and loves quizzes, learning anything new. She spends hours watching the pigeons and other feathered species feeding from her bird table. It is strategically placed so that she has the perfect view from her chair.

Food? Yes, please!

Holidays? Yes please. She hates the hassle of airports and getting to places but adores it when she reaches her destination. She loves experiencing foreign cultures. Her favourite place is Paphos and the harbour. It is her second home. Souvenirs? Oh yes. She buys fridge magnets from every place she visits. Then, in the mornings at home she can remember the wonderful places when she staggers to the fridge for milk in her coffee.

   

Paphos sunset

Another thing she likes is her little red car. It lives in its own apartment. Others call them garages. They have travelled many miles together and seen many beautiful sites.

She is a great believer in taking new experiences and adventures.

 

So, now that she has shared her personal delights with you she offers you... THE CHALLENGE!

Until next week, enjoy whatever it is you enjoy and tolerate the rest of your life.

Yours, Lady M 

                                                  

Birthdays!

Hello Everyone,

It's 16th February today so it must be my birthday or rather another one! I cannot believe that it has come round again so quickly. Has it really been 365 days since the last time? We all know it's a sign of old age when birthdays seem to speed up. The pretty pic above was taken two years ago when I was 65 and in Paphos. Have two years slipped by since then? Seven years ago I celebrated my 60th in Paphos when a kind friend found the comment about 'pushing 60'.

Now I'm thinking to myself, I'm dragging 60 and pushing 70. In another decade or five minutes I'm either going to be pushing 80 or pushing up daisies. So, guess I should make the most of every minute that's left. What have I done since I hit 60? Published three books, visited new places, enjoyed  holidays and discovered the privileges of being a senior citizen. So, I've not been idle but there are still things to do and tomorrow is not promised to us. Three years to 70 and before then I have another book to share with the world and another two to write. I would like to move house. Not sure where I'm going but when it's right or if it's meant to be it will happen. They say the devil makes work for idle hands but I don't intend mine remaining idle. Today, I'm getting used to the idea, looking at the cards and slowly recovering from the last weeks in Cyprus. Tomorrow...

So birthdays, what are they? They are those annual events that take forever to arrive when you are a child but somehow speed up with age. The psychologists say that it is because we gain experiences with age and consequently have far more to occupy our minds which makes it seem as if time is passing by more quickly. But that does not explain why we look forward to them in childhood and grow to dislike them as we grow older. There are those milestones... 30...40...50...60 and if you are still around 70...80...90? If you are a UK resident the next decade is really exciting because if you make it to 100, a century you get a telegram from the Queen or reigning monarch. So, does your aim in life simply become the urgent desire to hit the three figure number for the joy and satisfaction of receiving a special card on that birthday and each subsequent one, if you make it?

As time goes by you tend to change without noticing. Appearance, thinking, behaviour, attitude, and then there's that awful day when you begin using phrases like, 'when I was younger', 'not in my day' or 'oh no I'm turning into my mother'. 

When you were a child there were lots of presents and cards and a party with a cake and party games and you were growing up, another year nearer, into that wonderful world of adulthood where everything seemed to be wonderful. No one telling you what to do, money of your own, allowed to drink and go out as you pleased. It was going to be fantastic. Then, after waiting forever the day arrives and suddenly the picture has changed. It has turned into a life of work, bills, problems and responsibility and you yearn for those carefree childhood days again. 

So, what are the joys of birthdays? Why do we wish each other 'Many happy returns of them'? How do we spend them? Parties? Family celebrations? Do you STILL look forward to them? Do you still enjoy them? Do you still look forward to cards and presents? Do your family spoil you? Do you spend them on your own? Which was your best and most memorable birthday? Which was your worst? Would you care to share your memories and/or views of that annual event?

Love to you all, from an ancient Lady M xxxx

                                                    

Inspiration!

A swan at the Ice House Pool

Hello Everyone,

As a writer I am frequently asked where my inspiration comes from. The answer is anywhere and everywhere, life in general, people, events, experiences, comments . . .
Usually when I'm least expecting it and I don't have a camera, recorder or pen and paper to hand. I try committing to memory. I'm still trying to get into the habit of using my mobile phone as a camera. A telephone device that takes pictures? Oh come on! As I said to the assistant in one of these modern phone shops, 'I go back to the days of press Button B to get your money back.' In the good old days one always carried 4 pence (old pennies, the days of pounds, shillings and pence and when there were 240 pennies to the Sterling Pound) in case one needed to make a phone call from one of those red phone boxes. Many will recognise those as 'Book Exchanges' today.


Books evolve from imagination, research and experience. They come into existence through inspiration and after many days and nights of blood, sweat and tears. They begin with that first capital letter and conclude with the final full stop at the end of the last chapter, or round about the 100,000 word mark. Then comes the 'Hallelujah' moment. Next, they're put into cold storage for a while before another reading, professional editing,  type-setting/text blocking, proof-reading and finally one sees them in print. One looks in total disbelief!

But what is 'inspiration'?

'Stimulation of the mental or emotional faculties to a high level of feeling, animation or creativity' (Reader's Digest Universal Dictionary).


The one person who has always been my support, idol and inspiration is my father. I admired him for his caring nature, concern for others and general attitude toward life. He was the type of man who could start a party in an empty room. Then there are numerous characters throughout history who have through belief, determination or inspiration achieved great things. Individuals like Florence Nightingale, Mrs Pankhurst, Winston Churchill, Martin Luther King, Steve Biko, Nelson Mandela and so many more who never gave up their fight for the cause no matter what hardships they endured. Finally, there have been many individuals throughout my life, (teachers, colleagues and friends) who have in one way or another inspired me.

But who or what inspires you? What is it that makes you get up and face each day apart from the basic need of earning an income for survival in the rat race? Why are you leading the life you lead? Why are you doing the job you do? You will have made various choices in life as a result of circumstances. There was probably someone who made you think, 'I want to be like them' or 'I want to do that' and hey presto! You have been inspired.

 

Personally, when I was teaching the best compliment I ever received came from children who said that I had in some way inspired them. We may not be aware of it but 'inspiration' plays a large part in our lives. Every day when we come into contact with other people we may make a comment or do something totally unaware of the fact that we have inspired someone else.

 

 

The photographs I have chosen for this week's blog were taken in the Sandwell Valley at Ice House Pool, a beautiful, peaceful place which I frequently visit and find inspirational and in Pafos, Cyprus. These are just two of the places where I get ideas or dialogue seems to develop for my books.

 

 

Time & Tide, my first book a family saga and history of the 1950-2000 period was inspired by my own childhood memories and the fact that the Millennium was approaching. My second book, No Regrets came into existence as a result of both my teaching and divorce experiences.

Geriskipou Church in Cyprus

I was inspired to write Stay in Touch after a conversation with an old schoolfriend. My fourth book, Look After Each Other was the result of three things: my strong relationship with my father, experiences with mediums and an unforgettable experience with a 'Derek'. Put the three together and what did I get? Inspiration for a book and not just one but three. The sequel, Sofia's Legacy continues the story by answering unanswered questions from the first novel, and then, Love You Forever is the final one in the trilogy. From small acorns large oak trees grow or in this case from three small things 'inspiration' came forth and developed into the 'Sofia Trilogy'.

 



Sunset taken from my hotel room in Pafos.... Inspirational?

 

 

You can still win a copy of LOVE YOU FOREVER

https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/148094-love-you-forever

Until next week... be inspirational! You never know who you might be inspiring.

 

Lady M

Nostalgic November 5! 1957... Nostalgia

Howde Folks!

This is my last week with you before 'she' returns. I hope you've enjoyed my trip down memory lane. I thought the perfect place to finish would be with 'her' nostalgic look back to when she was 6 and life as she remembered it in 1957. Also, I liked her pretty pic of the old bus in Malta! (originally published 03/03/2011)

Sofia!

Hello Everyone!

After declaring my new age as '6', I thought I would roam down memory lane to 1957 when I was 6 the first time round and better behaved! This photograph was taken in Malta but the bus brings back memories of the old school bus chugging down the lane of our little village to collect us and take us to the junior school in the next village at a speed of about 20mph. These buses still operate in Malta and you wonder if you are ever going to arrive at your destination but like so many things of yesteryear they are more reliable than modern day ones.

1957. . . milk was delivered in bottles by the milkman - not bought in a carton at the supermarket. . . there was a conductor on the buses called a 'clippie' who gave you a ticket and the driver just drove. . . there was no second class mail . . . the moon was a place of romance and mystery, no one had walked on it. . .

Computer? What's that?

Mobile phone? Pardon? Nintendo DS? iPod? Microwave. . .

Televisions, fridges and cars were luxury items.

So, 1957, what can you remember or are you too young?

'January: Sir Anthony Eden resigns as prime minister because of ill health. He's succeeded by Harold MacMillan...

March:The treaty of Rome is signed in an attempt to cement relations in Europe...

October:THE SPACE AGE HAS ARRIVED! The Russians have launched Sputnik 1 into Space; it's the first time anyone has attempted to place a satellite in orbit round the earth. The first "flying saucer" has travelled round the earth at 17,000 miles per hour. The Victorians would never have dreamed of such an event but now the race between America and Russia to put a man on the moon has begun...

In South Africa and America the black communities continue with their struggle for equality with whites. Martin Luther King has impressed people with his successful bus boycott and has founded the Southern Christian Leadership Council (SCLC) as the focus of his civil rights movement...

In the USA, nine black students attempted to enrol at the all-white Little Rock Central High School; initially, they were barred on the orders of the State Governor...'

Taken from Charlotte's diary in Time and Tide.

Personally, when I think back, the main thing I remember is that everything was much slower.

Today, we are obsessed with speed. Also, in those days, goods were made to last. Now, we have become the 'throw away' society. Goods are not made, either to last for years or to be repaired, but to be recycled and replaced with newer models. The fifties in Britain were austere years in the aftermath of the war and times were hard but there was a community spirit which seems to have got lost somewhere along the road of progress.

Do you hear me sigh for the 'good old days'? I will leave you with this thought...

Thought for the week: Tomorrow, today will be 'the good old days'!

So, bye for now from myself and Donald. I guess we can disappear and enjoy ourselves again. Have a great Christmas next month and all the best for 2014. I'm sure we'll be with you again then.

All our love, Sofia and Donald xxxx